Merry Christmas
by DarkDreamer56
Summary: NS holiday fic. Sara opens up to Nick after a very memorable evening.


Title: Merry Christmas

Author: DarkDreamer56

Archive: If you want it, ask please!

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: N/S

Disclaimer: If I owned them, they would be together by now…

Spoilers: It's kind of a future fic, but it does deal with some revelations from the most recent ep, so anything up to "No Human's Involved" (5x10) is fair game.

A/N: Started out as a fluffy holiday fic for all you Snickers, but apparently I have problems with not torturing Sara with her past…The ending is at least fluffy, hope you enjoy! Happy Holidays!

"Nick?" Sara whispered tentatively in the dark, hoping not to wake him if he had already drifted off to sleep. The events of the night had left her keyed up, and unable to sleep.

"Yeah Sar?" Nick mumbled, tightening his grasp around her waist and planting a kiss on the top of her head.

"Is it real…I mean, did we?"

Sara could feel his smile widen against her hair. "Yeah baby, we did. I think the proof is right there on your finger." He reached down to clasp her hand in his, marveling that she had agreed to wear the white gold, princess cut, engagement ring that now graced her finger.

"You realize that you made this my best Christmas Eve ever, don't you?"

"Well, it would have been your best Christmas ever, but someone was a little impatient," he teased.

"Hey! I just wanted to give you your present. You could have waited until morning." Sara had been so excited to see the look on Nick's face when she gave him his present that she hadn't been able to wait until morning.

Instead, she teased him with a framed picture of the Dallas night skyline and a tin of homemade cookies, before presenting him with "real" present: two plane tickets home to visit his folks and a note from Grissom promising them two weeks off after New Years. After spinning her around the room, he reached under the tree and pulled out the carefully wrapped ring box, proposing to her right in the middle of their living room floor. Sara stood there stunned, for a moment, before launching herself at him, exclaiming 'yes!' between tears. Nick kissed her soundly and placed the ring on her finger, reveling in the feeling that had come over him after her acceptance. He was so lost in the moment that he hardly noticed Sara pulling him in the direction of their bedroom, to continue their celebration in more comfortable surroundings, until they were in the doorway.

"You know, my family is going to love you. My mom has been hinting for months that she needed to meet the woman that finally tamed her baby boy. I thought that she was going to all but drag us down there for Christmas, but she never…she knew about the trip, didn't she?"

Sara grinned sheepishly and patted his arm. "Guilty. I called her a few weeks ago to ask for the recipe for her holiday cookies, and I was just so excited, I let it slip to her what I was planning."

"I still can't believe my mom gave you her secret family recipe for those cookies. She wouldn't even give me the recipe, and I'm her favorite…"

"Yeah, well I can be persuasive. Besides, she told me I was practically family…I guess that should have clued me in that you had something up your sleeve there, Mr. Stokes."

Sara jabbed him gently in the ribcage before snuggling into his warm embrace. Nick brought their still entwined hands up to his mouth, gently kissing each one of her knuckles before settling their hands back down across her abdomen. He closed his eyes, preparing to replay their wonderful Christmas Eve in his dreams, when he felt all was not quite right next to him.

Silence had descended over them again, but it was not the comfortable silence that had followed their blissful bedroom activities. His suspicions were confirmed when he felt Sara subconsciously tense in his arms. He squeezed her hand before reaching up to stroke her hair.

"What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" he murmured against her cheek.

"I'm just thinking." They joy in her voice had been replaced by some sort of wistful longing that Nick couldn't quite place. Knowing that pushing her to say more than she wanted would only ruin their night, and his chance at finding out what was bothering her, he merely continued to stroke her hair, waiting for her to further the conversation.

"I bet Christmas is really big in your house, huh? Your parents probably have a big tree, fully decorated, and a humungous family dinner? All those kids, grandkids running around…"

"Yeah, Christmas is pretty important to my family. And you're going to be apart of that soon. Hell, next Christmas, my mom will probably have you in charge of baking the pies or something. And if she really loves you, maybe she'll even reveal the secret to her cranberry sauce to you, seeing as you're family and all now…"

Sara ignored Nick's attempt at diffusing the situation with humor, and instead turned in his embrace so that she was facing him. He couldn't help but noticed the tears forming in her eyes, and her struggle to keep them from falling.

"When I was growing up…well, Christmas was just an excuse for my parents to get drunk and pass out screaming at each other. We never had a tree…never decorated or got gifts…"

Nick's heart broke a little as he watched Sara trail off and furrow her brow. They had been dating for several months before she began talking to him about her childhood, but he had never gotten the entire story; only bits and pieces that he threaded together in his mind to form the picture of her past. And as much as he loved the beautiful woman lying next to him, and everything she stood for and had become, he hated the people and the circumstances that had forced her to grow up so scared and lonely. It was rare when she chose to talk about her past, and even then it only came up in the cover of darkness, usually while he held her in bed before they drifted off to sleep. He pulled her closer to him, hoping that she could feel his love for her radiating from his body, unsure of what words he could offer her that would be of any help.

"I can only remember one nice Christmas, and it wasn't even with my parents," she whispered, clinging to Nick in the dark.

"Why don't you tell me about it sweetheart?" Nick's voice was soft, encouraging her to continue as he tucked an errant curl behind her ear.

"It was with one of the foster couples that Eric and I lived with. Bob and Emma. You know, they insisted we called them by their first names; they refused to believe they were old enough to be _Mr_. and _Mrs_. Hunter. Emma let me bake cookies with her all Christmas Eve morning, and then Eric and I helped them decorate the Christmas tree. She let us make those ridiculous popcorn garland things, even though we made such a mess…" Sara smiled fondly at the recollection before continuing. "Bob sang Christmas carols, horribly off key, while we were decorating, but even Eric laughed at him. We spent the rest of the night eating left over popcorn and watching _Miracle on 34th Street_."

Nick felt her relax slightly in his arms. She slowly trail her fingers up and down his chest, the repetitive movement calming her as she spoke.

"They took us to Midnight Mass, probably the first time I'd been in a church since I made my first Communion. When we got home, Bob read _Twas the Night Before Christmas_ to us. No one had ever read aloud to us before, and even though we were teenagers, I absolutely loved it. The next morning, Ally had hot chocolate waiting for us when we got up, and there were even presents under the tree...They bought me a new dress, and one of those angel figurines. You know, I still have it tucked away in the closet. I remember sitting there, drinking that hot chocolate, and just wishing that I could stay there forever…"

Tears were now freely falling down her cheeks as she buried her head into Nick's chest. He rubbed small circles around her back and let her cry until all he heard was an occasional hiccup or sniffle.

"We've been engaged, what? Three hours? And I'm already falling apart on you," she joked feebly, lifting her tearstained face up to meet his worried gaze.

"Hey, I signed up for the long haul with that ring," he replied seriously, brushing away a few tears with his thumb. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know. I love you so much Nick." She knew that he knew that, but she needed to affirm it to herself. He loved her too. She had spent so much of her life feeling unloved, and unwanted, that she had become jaded, wanting nothing to do with love in general. She had never expected to find such a caring and loyal man to love her as much as Nick, and the only thing more surprising than that, was the day she found herself loving him back with an equal ferocity and devotion.

"I love you too baby."

They lay together in silence for awhile, holding on to each other for dear life.

"You know, contrary to that outburst, that really is a happy memory for me. But…you know what? I think this Christmas Eve is even happier for me. Because I've got you to share it with."

Sara leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Nick's lips, bringing her hands up around his shoulders to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. He responded fully, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around her waist. Only when the need for air became too great, did they pull apart. Sara snuggled down into the covers, molding her body against Nick's and sighing in contentment.

"Those were some really nice memories," he whispered, "Maybe when we have our own kids someday, we can make some of those our traditions. What do ya say Sar? You can bake my Mom's famous holiday cookies; then I can read aloud to the big Stoke's brood?"

"Kids of our own? I like the sound of that," Sara murmured back, her voice laced with sleep, "But I don't know how big 'the brood' will be. I'm good for two, maybe three, if you're especially good…after that, you want anymore, you can have 'em yourself…"

Nick couldn't keep the grin off of his face as he listened to Sara talk about having his children, without even batting an eyelash. One day, there would be children running around, presents to wrap, and little faces to light up Christmas morning after Santa had arrived. But right now, he was content to lay with the woman that he loved in his arms and dream of Christmas day, when they could announce to the world that their love would last forever.

FIN.

Consider it an early Christmas present….and speaking of presents, if you want to get me one, all you have to do is REVIEW!


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